Domestic Drabbles
by AriTeir
Summary: Holly's first Weekend at Fowl Manor with Artemis and the Twins. Hopefully the Manor will still be there by the end of it.
1. Friday Afternoon

Domestic Drabbles

_Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl_

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"This" Holly Short announced her voice far loftier than she herself could ever hope to be "Is _not _what I had in mind when you sent me that cry for help"

"Holly please I _need _you. This is my darkest hour you cannot abandon me!" Artemis pleaded his eyes held the look of a man that had seen things, terrible things. Holly rolled her eyes. Drama Queen.

"This is not your darkest hour; this is you babysitting your brothers while your parents are out of town. And this is me telling you that you owe me for shuttle fare and leaving" Holly strapped her helmet on and made her way down Fowl Manor's front steps.

"But you can't just leave didn't you hear me I _need _you I can't possibly be expected to handle the twins on my own _they'll eat me alive!_" Artemis cried. Holly sighed and turned to face him.

"You're hardly on your own you have Butler and don't the twins have a nanny?" She asked. Her first mistake there was, as everyone knows, no reasoning with the truly desperate.

"Butler is getting a little too on in his years to be expected to run after two hyperactive five year olds, have a heart Captain. And as for the Nanny she's in Wales for the week, her daughter's getting married"

"And you expect me to believe she is the only Nanny available in the whole of Ireland, isn't there an agency you can ring for a temporary replacement?"

"Well now that is a humorous story, you see during the first few years of my brothers' life, which I was thankfully absent for, they managed to get themselves blacklisted on every nearly Nanny agency's database in both Ireland and Great Britain." Artemis explained. Holly blinked.

"_And Great Britain_" She repeated deftly.

"As well as a few in Spain but that's a little far to go for a replacement don't you think?"

"Just a tad"

"So you see Holly my situation is quite desperate. Please stay it's only for the weekend and the twins actually _like_ you" Artemis pleaded. Holly briefly wondered how his gaze which was usually cold and calculating could now hold the sort of look you'd gain from a puppy after kicking it. She was going to regret this.

"Alright I'll stay, but I want you to be very very aware of how much you owe me." She said taking her helmet off again and following Artemis inside the Manor.

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_STORY NOTES_

_Nannies: Nannying is quite an orginized business. Most Nannies sign on with an agency who will find a household for them from a client database. Many girls I went to school with have done just that one even got assigned to Ireland. Apparently it's a great way to get out into the world, you can choose the country you'd like to work in, the family you're assigned to sets you up with accomidation and living expenses on top of your salary. If you don't speak the language they pay for lessons. It's all very glamorous for small island girls, if you can get over being solely responsible for someone elses children..._

_And so begins my first proper drabble series...I'm a little nervous! Please tell me what you thought, if you have any ideas for domesticy situations for Holly and the Fowls...and Butler to screw up I'd love to hear them. I accept critism just please be constructive and polite. I apologuise for my poor spelling and punctuation._

_Ari out! _


	2. Friday Evening

Domestic Drabbles

_Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl_

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"What is this?" Myles asked holding up his fork which had a glistening black lump resting on it. Artemis looked up from his own plate across the table.

"It's a mushroom, eat it" he said. Myles slid the mushroom off his fork and onto a napkin. Next to him Beckett made an exaggerated gagging noise as he ate a piece of Bok Choy. At least he ate it, Myles had already banished his supply of the Asian vegetable to his napkin.

"What about this" Myles held up another suspect ingredient this time it was Butler who spoke.

"Bamboo shoot" He said a little brusquely not at all liking the way the twins were reacting to the meal he had prepared. Luo Han Zhai was a vegetarian dish that Butler had learned from his Chinese mother and had made this particular night to accommodate Holly. Forgetting that the twins like all five year olds hated vegetables.

So far Myles had refused to eat anything other than the thin slices of carrot and roasted cashew nuts while Beckett greeted each mouthful with choking and gagging sounds. He had even pretended to die twice.

To their eternal credit Butler Holly and Artemis barely batted an eyelid at this display except to tell Beckett to sit up strait and get his face out of his plate and inform Myles what was currently on his fork.

"What is _this_" Myles demanded holding brandishing his fork which now held a small whitish rectangle and before Artemis could inform him that it was a piece of tofu and was good for him Holly cut in.

"It's Spider" She said. Myles' eyes bugged and Beckett did a double take.

"_Spider_?" he exclaimed. Holly nodded.

"Yep fried Spider, that's a slice of the abdomen." she speared a water chestnut with her fork.

"This is a piece of the thorax, nice and crunchy" she popped it in her mouth and began to chew. The twins stared at her dumbfounded for a few seconds.

Then they began to shovel forkfuls of the vegetarian casserole into their mouths as fast as they could. Decimating their Tofu and Water Chestnuts and everything else that got in their way.

Now it was Artemis' turn to be dumbfounded. He stared blankly at the scene before him not entirely sure that his brain was correctly translating the information his eyes were sending it. Beckett and Myles were eating their vegetables without so much as pulling a face.

Beckett and Myles _never_ just ate their vegetables, _never_. His parents had tried everything his father had even unbeknownst to his mother resorted to bribery on more than one occasion but even then there were the predicable complaints.

Artemis stared at Holly who winked at him before eating a piece of Tofu.

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_STORY NOTES _

_Luo Han Zhai: More commonly known as Buddha's Delight Luo Han Zhai is a Chinese Vegetarian dish made from many ingrediants which vary from region to region._

_Spiders: This entire chapter is based on a Calvin and Hobbs strip in which Calvin refuses to eat his dinner until his father tells him it's fried monkey brains which causes him to shovel it down like there's no tomorrow. _

_Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter I apologuise for my poor spelling and punctuation. Feel free to tell me what you thought _

_Ari Out!_


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